Woke up today crying & upset. Depressed as he’ll. My heart goes out to both my son’s being born into this family. I don’t even know my Bridgie Boy any more & Roadie my heart is in shreds for what that little boy is being put throw. The more I read about child abuse and alienation, the more upset I become. Not just remember my own child abuse inflicted on me but Roadie my youngest. He has not only had to say bye to his mammy but all contacts with his little dog whom he loved so much as well.
My prison can’t be half as evil as the prison my 2 boys have become to live.
I don’t know why I am writing this. I don’t think anybody will end up reading it. Perhaps my boys will in the future when I’m dead. Maybe not. Not that I got any thoughts of killing myself it’s just time for us all is very periouse thing on this EARTH. Time has run out for me and my boys.
I have asked for help in the past from so many people and agencies. To no avail. The more I educated myself on my families & of my boys dynamics child abuse, childhood truma, child alienation, mind control, mind minulipuation, the more depressed I become with more understanding but with how futile my life, my boys life’s & our life’s ever to be together again. I am filling up with tears streaming down my face, my love for my boys & their love for their mammy taken from US with such evil.
I never felt much love as a child. More I was an inconvenience, never good enough. Never lived to the standards the reality or rather the multiple realitys I was taught to live by. One to the outside world the disgusting childhood abuse in the 4 walls called a home with my parents & gaslighting sister. Another more normal with my grandparents. But the love I found with my own boys was the love I found to be something that was missing from my life.
It is only my love for my 2 boys that keeps me here. I committed suicide 2 times last year to end the suffering the he’ll or prison life itself has become.
Sick to death littary of being played, manipulated, options, reports, forced drugs, being beaten up both litary physicals & mentally. All my life with my lips sewn up like jack the pumpkin king. Nothing I say is taken seriously somebody always knows better. Has a opinion on how to fix me. But nobody listens. STOP FOOKING STOP STOP STOP ALL YOU LOOKING CUNTS.
My dog. He’s the only one there for me. Only one that listens. Only one whom is there for me. When I cry & say I miss Bridge & Roadie is the only living being whom understands. He gives me licks and love. The only love I have now in this world. How sad is that.
QUESTION
How much accountability & taking responsibility for ones actions does 1 person take? Where does 1 person’s stop and another person’s start. Does one person take on accountability for the whole dam world’s? Where does mine STOP????
How much accountability should I take for sitting here alone with the dog. In silence, old fat unloved toothless. Body and bones riddled with aluminium from forced medication. A hag to my forma self. Would not even earn my bus fair home if paid to be a groto gram
I am not educated in law. I am not educated in medical. I am not educated in science. I am not educated in security. I am not educated to be a teacher. The military. All I am or was is a mother. With normal mother love for her children, to protect and try stop harms becoming to them. Of which I have failed. I am a nothing. I am expandable. I can be killed imprisonment kidnapped never to be seen again. All I am is a human being. I am not nasty. I try to be kind to others. I have done no harm in life to deserve to life on this EARTH of torture daily and watch helpless with my boys abuse in such a way. It breaks my heart soul & sprite
Where is my human rights? Where are my children’s human rights? Right to family life? Right to be free. My parental rights of NON CONSENT? They are no rights. We are all experiment
Our only Justice Left 